I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
