hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
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As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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