With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
