YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
