Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Randomize