if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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