Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
