We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
