What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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