At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
