i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
