What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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