Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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