i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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