Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
