I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Who died my cat blue again?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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