Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
