so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
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