sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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