I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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