I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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