True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
