I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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