i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
