I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
where am i from again
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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