Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize