Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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