***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
