Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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