i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
