so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
