Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
