Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
