Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
