I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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