Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
