Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
