I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
