she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
