All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
