kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
