is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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