we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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