i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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