My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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