who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
