just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
