I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
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My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
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Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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