there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
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