Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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