Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize