Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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