And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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