I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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