wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
