I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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