fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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