I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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