So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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