i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
