I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
